Should I travel without my partner?
Yes, I am all about traveling with kids here. But that doesn’t mean that I never travel without them! Sometimes I travel solo –without my partner or my kids. Read my pros and cons of traveling without your partner (and kids) here!
Before you decide whether you should solo travel without your spouse, partner, or children, consider this list. Ask yourself the questions below and determine whether your pros outweigh the costs of the cons.
Is Solo Travel without My Partner Ok?
Yes. Probably. Maybe not. I don’t know. It depends.
I remember the day that my parents thought it strange that my husband of more than 13 years and I did so many things alone. While my favorite memories are of traveling with my husband—my best friend—we also do our share of solo traveling without each other and without our kids.
Solo Traveling Experiences
My husband returned from the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro a changed man. He lacked the right words to describe the surreal experience. He had new goals, new drive, and even some new friends separate and apart from our family life.
He did the entire trip on his own –without his wife and children. And frankly, I didn’t want to join him. Camping and “roughing it” are not my thing.
I, on the other hand, returned from the crystal blue of Caribbean waters. I spent long mornings at the gym or with a cup of coffee. I took naps and ate my food without ever cutting someone else’s! I spent 4 days laying around by a pool chatting with my best friends.
I took the trip without my husband or my children. And frankly, he didn’t want to join my girls’ trip!
He spent a week in Vail and Jackson Hole. I spent a week in Disney and another week in Northern Ohio.
For the most part we take all of our trips together. And, if we are honest, we do miss each other on solo trips. However, we have no intention of giving them up.
PROS OF SOLO TRAVEL WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER
Pro #1: Solo Travel without Your Partner Gives You the Chance to Miss Each Other.
Solo travel gives you the chance to miss each other. Have you ever thought that your spouse or partner takes you for granted? Have you ever underestimated the value of missing each other?
When you travel solo, you each get the chance to miss each other—to remember why your best friend is your best friend. I find myself taking pictures that will make my husband giggle, texting him random thoughts, or counting down until I see him again.
Traveling solo gives both of you the chance to remember how special you are to each other.
PRO #2: Solo Travel Lets You Do the Things That You Want to Do.
Solo travel lets you do the things that you want to do. My husband wanted to spend 7 days on the side of a remote mountain. I wanted to go to 3 days in a row of rope drop at my favorite theme park.
Doing a solo trip allowed us to do some of the things that we each want to do but the other is unwilling to do. Don’t get me wrong…marriage and partnership is about compromise and creating shared experiences, but don’t miss out on that once-in-a-lifetime dream opportunity simply because you won’t do it together.
Give each other the space to encourage each other to have independent experiences.
PRO #3: Solo Travel Alleviates Childcare Headaches.
Solo travel means not having to find childcare. One of the reasons that I prefer traveling with my children rather than without them is that childcare is a bigger headache than carting three small children through airport customs.
However, when I travel solo, then I don’t have to worry about babysitters, overnight stays, packing outfits for the kids, or whether they have their favorite snacks and lovies. When I travel solo, my husband keeps, cares for, and protects my children.
Traveling solo is a break from taking care of my children and a break from juggling the many headaches of finding and managing childcare.
PRO #4: Solo Travel Builds or Repairs Neglected Relationships.
Solo travel builds relationships with others that might otherwise be neglected. My husband now has contacts in Malta after hiking to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro with new friends. He also has deep connections to his coworkers after spending a week with them in Vail.
My friends and I have stronger, deeper connections after a week together without our kids –bonds that will carry through the rest of our lives.
When I travel with my husband and my children, I focus on them, their needs, and our family activities. Traveling solo forces me to form relationships with others. Relationships that are particularly important for a mom trying to figure out all the stress of mommy-hood!
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PRO #5: Solo Travel Doesn’t Stress the Budget as Much as Family Travel.
Solo travel is cheaper. 1 plane ticket. 1 meal. 1 excursion cost. It is all far cheaper than 5 plane tickets, 5 meals, 5 excursions. Travel solo is markedly cheaper than a family or couples trip. Making it more attainable for many families.
Taking a solo trip is not nearly as taxing on our family finances. It doesn’t stress our budget nearly as much, and it doesn’t prevent us from being able to take family trips. An inexpensive solo trip might even be worth the cost simply for the restoration of your mental health!
CONS OF SOLO TRAVEL WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER OR FAMILY
While I can sing the praises of limited solo travel without your partner, I do not believe that it should replace your family and couples adventures! Solo travel also has lots of downsides that should not be taken lightly.
CON #1: Solo Travel without Your Partner Could Build Resentment.
Solo travel without your partner can build resentment.
Oh…you slept 5 nights straight, ate gourmet food, and were upgraded to first class? All while I was buried in snot, diapers, and vomit and supported the family?
If one spouse does all the traveling while the other is left to be the glue of the family, then solo travel, solo adventures could easily lead to resentment. Shared experiences are usually far superior than experiences that build barriers and resentment.
CON #2: Unbalanced Solo Travel Can Feel One-Sided
Solo travel without your partner might lead to disparities and comparison. Maybe you agree as a couple to limited solo travel. However, then one of you presents a trip that is far more expensive, far longer, or far more exotic than the other.
If one of you is taking a guided tour of the Mediterranean while the other is staying in a rustic local cabin, then you might not be on the same page.
Apples to oranges might lead to comparison and resentment in your relationship. Find a balance between you and your partner. For example, my husband’s trips are usually far more exotic, but they happen far less frequently than my girls getaways that happen a couple of times a year.
We find that our different experiences are well-balanced and congruous leaving both of us fulfilled and not resentful.
CON #3: Solo Travel Can Lead To Too Many Unshared Experiences
Solo travel without your spouse could lead to too many unshared experiences. If you spend all of your travel and vacations making different memories and having different experiences, then you might begin to grow apart.
Have you ever seen those adorable older couples who start to look alike? I believe that is because they have had so many shared experiences that they can’t help but share similarities. They both spend the same amount of time in the sun, they both have clothing from the same regions of the world, and they both have eaten the same rich and delicious foods. Their experiences shape their growth individually and as a couple.
Too much solo travel can lead to growing apart through unshared experiences.
CON #4: Too Much Solo Travel Can Replace Important Shared Experiences
Too much solo travel could supplant shared experiences and leave you without family experiences. Our family never agrees to solo travel instead of family travel. If we only traveled solo, then each of us would be resentful of the lack of family experiences.
If solo travel replaces family or couple experiences, then travel becomes a penalty rather than a privilege or a blessing. When your solo travel interferes with family travel, then it is definitely a con.
Whether solo travel is right for you
Whether solo travel without your partner or spouse is right for you depends on whether it will result in far greater benefit than harm. I would never tell someone that they shouldn’t have any solo travel experiences. Instead, I would ask them whether one experience or another would build appreciation or resentment, calm or chaos, shared dreams or unshared experiences.
Solo travel is right for our family as long as our shared experience far outweigh our solo experiences. Further, it is right for us as long as it continues to meet needs in us as individuals that create stronger bonds as partners and a family.
SOLO TRAVEL PROS AND CONS CHECKLIST
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