MOM WINS! Small Victories for the working mom
Lowering the standards of parenting success!
Here’s the truth: being a mommy is HARD. Stop focusing on what everyone else is doing perfectly, and instead focus on what you are doing right. Let’s start small. Let’s start with those small mom victories –the small mom wins that let us know that we have done a few things right!
MOMS ARE INCREDIBLE, BUT IT’S TIME TO LOWER THE BAR FOR THE REST OF US
It is easy to feel inferior when you hear about moms doing incredible things. You hear about Mom A who sewed the school costumes. You read about Mom B who has the secret to potty training in 48 hours. Maybe you listen to Mom C on the radio who is able to calm a toddler tantrum with one word.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t keep up with those moms. I’ve joined the bandwagon where I count chips as vegetables and leggings as pants.
I’m on the train where going to bed at 7:30 is more for mommy’s sanity than for the kids’ rest. And, despite the mountains of research and cautions and red flags, my kids have plenty of screen time. (The crowd cheers!) And, if I do any better than that, then I count it as one of my mom wins.
So, if we are going to join that bandwagon, or dare I say, normalize that bandwagon, then we are going to start having to lower the bar everywhere!
Stop believing that the only good days are when you have a clean house, a completed work list, and completely happy kids. Instead, be a mom who tries to focus on the positive despite being overwhelmed by the negative. So, celebrate these small mom victories with me!
MOM WIN: DRINKING AN ENTIRE CUP OF COFFEE WITHOUT HAVING TO REHEAT IT!
Usual Mom: Wakes up long before the rest of the house, gets self ready, gets kids ready, and then makes self a cup of coffee………..
Three hours later: locates cup of coffee having been distracted by the mountains of laundry, the endless emails, and the fighting in the playroom.
Reheats coffee and repeats three hours later.
But, sometimes, when the stars align and the client calls slow, you drink the entire cup of HOT coffee! It’s glorious!
As a mom who so frequently has fingers in my food and carries around the same reheated cup of coffee, drinking a fresh hot cup of coffee is a major treat. And, I know it is for you too.
Moms have a lot on their shoulders and a lot of things to feel overwhelmed about. But, if you get to the bottom of your morning coffee before you have to stick it back in the microwave, do a little dance and celebrate the moment!
Drinking your entire cup of coffee is one of the huge mom wins!
MOM WIN: WEARING CLEAN –NO SPIT-UP-CLOTHES
As a mom of multiple young children, you can probably relate to always having a strange stain somewhere. Do you sometimes show up to work with a random food stuck to your shoulder, a sticker stuck to your back, or drool on your leg?
Sure, these are all reminders of happy, healthy, loving children, but they are also gross.
No matter how much you may try to avoid the sticky fingers at breakfast, it never fails. You bend down for that drop-off hug, and you end up with tear stains on your lapel or some breakfast grime smeared across your pants.
But, every now and then, you make it all the way to work or out in public in actual clean clothes. You almost wouldn’t know you had children.
Nary a slobber streak, a stray cracker crump, or a banana smudge to be found.
That’s a mom win to celebrate!
MOM WIN: DINNER HAD AT LEAST ONE VEGETABLE
If chips and French fries aren’t a vegetable, I’m in big trouble. Other peoples’ kids eat corn on the cob, and green beans, and even tomatoes without tears. Mine collapse in agony if vegetables are even mentioned in our house.
Despite serving everything from Brussels sprouts to broccoli at our meals regularly, my kids still won’t touch them. No amount of bribery will suffice.
But, every now and then I get a sweet potato, a handful of diced tomatoes, or even a bit of corn into their food, and no one cries.
In those moments you have to hold your emotions in. Like a nervous animal, any sudden movements might alert them to the danger on their plates. Hold back those cheers and sighs of relief until the mealtime has passed. Then do your little happy jig after bedtime.
MOM WIN = VEGETABLES!
MOM WIN: NO ONE DROPPED YOUR TOOTHBRUSH ON THE FLOOR
What in the world is kids’ fascination with their moms’ toothbrush? I know that this can’t just be me.
Kids will be all: “I don’t want to brush my teeth.” But, then they come out moments later waving mom’s toothbrush like they’ve captured the bacon.
Toddlers are especially agile at this game, and they are notorious for throwing anything in their fists to the floor the moment that they no longer want to hold them.
So, mom’s toothbrush converts from stolen bacon to hot potato and is thrown on the floor as a distraction while toddler runs away.
But, don’t worry, your floor is spotless. In between working full-time, caring for your kids, and making sure that there were vegetables on their plates, you swept, mopped, and sanitized that floor only hours before.
Oh wait. You didn’t? Neither did I. Nope. Instead I retrieve my toothbrush from dust and fuzz, and examine it to determine whether it has acceptable losses.
We go through a lot of toothbrushes in our house.
But sometimes, no one plays keep away with my toothbrush, and I count that as a win!
MOM WIN: YOU SHOWERED ALONE
What is it with the bathroom door? Are they specially crafted to have a kid whistle in the hinges.
Kids go hours playing, swinging, jumping, and fighting with not a care in the world for their mother’s whereabouts. But, as soon as that bathroom door closes, the kids come asking for a drink or asking “what are you doing in there?”
It’s amazing. My kids can’t hear a thing that I ask them to do, but as soon as the bathroom door closes, all three of them are lined up asking me questions about the secret of life or whether I can resolve a dispute among them.
So, if I can get a shower without little fingers peaking in the door, flushing the toilet, or worse, someone flinging wide the shower curtain entirely, then I have to count it a win.
What a privilege for a mom to spend 5, maybe 10, minutes uninterrupted in the shower. If you are a mom of multiples that gets a shower by herself, then you, my friend should be on the parenting hall of fame! Forget Martha, put your picture up!
RELEASE SOME OF THE PRESSURE AND FOCUS ON YOUR SMALL MOM WINS
Forget about being the room mom for a moment. Stop pressuring yourself to be the mom who does it all and bakes the cupcakes.
Take the time to reflect on those small things that went right today.
Take a moment to lower the bar on your parenting. Are they all still alive? Are they mostly uninjured? Is the damage that you did to their ego correctable in counseling?
If you answered yes to 2 or more of those questions, then you are a mom who can celebrate her victories today!
Take a moment to relax, rid some of the pressure from your shoulders, and enjoy the mom ride!
Wear the leggings, skip the makeup, watch the tv, and let the kids giggle at toilet humor! We have to bring this parenting bar down sometime!
What are some of your small mom wins?
